Saturday, August 13, 2005

The Argument Against Flying Sober

A friend and I once spent the better part of a year in an substance induced bender,
Much of which I, and he has forgotten, and for good reason. I doubt either one of us would want to remember 80% of what occurred, and what we do makes us laugh...When it is that we have flashes of the outright lunacy of which we partook...Now with that in mind, take into consideration that I would do it all over again in a heart beat, seeing as the older I get I have fewer and fewer of those left, so if ever given the opportunity, I would spend one of them or the rest of them to forget another 3/4 of a 365.

Now as to the argument against flying sober it is an indisputable one, which I suppose takes away the idea that it is indeed an argument at all...And viciously turns it into a monologue of my opinion.

Why one should never fly sober: It is just plain fun not to. I cant count the number of times that I have arrived at the wrong gate, ticket agent, airline, terminal and even the absolutely wrong concourse. Traveling is suppose to be an adventure, that's why man travels....How can one possibly interject adventure by arriving at the correct gate on time with boarding pass in hand?
I say its impossible to have it both ways.
One might argue that if one is to intoxicated to get to their gate they would miss the plane and therefore miss....Well, miss the plane..
I say fuck them! Non-adventurous bastards! Live Life for one second, get out of the Cog of the Real and Step in to a alcoholic blur that will change your life if only for a few hours...Or in my case as its been weeks at a time...But do something, anything that proves your alive.

Do you really think that if the plane is falling from the sky, the fact that you are stone cold sober is going to make a difference? Drunk or Sober your going to Shit your pants,

I say do it drunk, at least you can laugh at the fact that when they peel you off the side of that building, there will be a overpowering bourbon stench that might make the EMT puke in your now empty skull

Why your are wrong-Part 1

In lesson one I will cover the basics of why you are wrong, both in your personal and professional life.
Lesson 1. Professional Life:
Ask yourself if you would would rather be doing something else?

If you answered with yes, then you are wrong.
Wrong in what you are currently doing.
This posses a problem with the persons that would always rather be doing something else, which is to say you will always be wrong. If you are not content with what you would be doing instead of what you are now doing you will continue to be wrong. And in enters a nexus of incorrectness, both in thought and deed.

Solution A: Never change where you are, if you'll question your change.
Solution B: Always change everything, and never question your change
Solution C: Change everything and question your change.
Solution D: Save your change, the current APR is like 1.5%

Lesson 1A

Lesson 1 A.: Your personal life

This is very much the same as your professional life. Ask your self the same question. "Would I like to be somewhere else with someone else, or no one else?". Using "IF/THEN" logic, gander down one line for advice. If you answered your own question with a resounding "YES". I offer you 4 possible solutions.
Solution A: Run, it doesn't matter what direction, pack a bag and run.
Solution B: Walk aimlessly torwards the door and run, screw the bag, get what you need on the open road.

Solution C: Come up with something on the spot about having to rotate the tires on the cow, smile a "...You'll See" kinda smile...and leave the other person wondering, while you break tread on your Nike's running to the nearest available Greyhound Station.

Solution D: Stay right where you are and continue to be wrong, kicking yourelf about being wrong.